508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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