Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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