Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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