Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
