I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
