are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
