She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
