Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
