i permit you to call me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
