I think I died a long time ago.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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