Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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