hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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