Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
