Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
