im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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