OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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