Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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