She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
