why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize