I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
