if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
