Already got asked if we're dating
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
