Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
