I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
