i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
