I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
