No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
