The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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