Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
