If that was your dad, he is hot
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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