I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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