Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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