Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
