It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
