i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
