I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
