So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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