i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
