Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
did you just send me my own nude
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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