Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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