my being single is dangerous.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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