help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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