hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
