I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
