Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
