i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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