I hate all girls vehemently.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize