This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
