Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
