Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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