Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
